December 2010
15 posts
If I'd known I was going to be fired
I would have hacked the tannoy system and played ‘My Sharona’ on loop, just too loud for speech. I would have systematically given every customer £5 extra in change throughout the morning. Then just to be a dick when there was someone vaguely important-looking I would just kept getting them cigarettes no matter what they asked for. I would do this til they went away. They’d like a phonecard?...
Dec 23rd
http://deadspin.com/5716038/the-greatest-letter-eve... →
Oh you’d better believe this is being the template for every complaint letter I ever have to write from now on. Happy Thursday.
Dec 23rd
“One thing that happens is that you stop speaking altogether. One Thursday...”
– The Night Blogger Blogs Alone | The Awl (via switchedblog)
Dec 21st
20 notes
warmgun: Craigslist job postings continue to let me down, as I’m yet to find someone who wants to pay me to read the internet for them. My ideal work day: Employer: “Hey, can you see what’s new on the meme front and get a report to me by noon?” Me: “Oh gurl u no I can.” That’s how I would say it, too.  You would hear the u and the no in my voice.
Dec 20th
33 notes
Dec 20th
290 notes
“We deserve better songs than any boy will ever write about us.”
– Emo: Where the Girls Aren’t - Jessica Hopper http://web.archive.org/web/20031002042645/http://www.punkplanet.com/archives/00000004.html
Dec 13th
“Beware of all enterprises that require new clothes”
– Henry David Thoreau
Dec 12th
Dec 11th
324 notes
“Art is traditionally seen as the delicate flower expressing the spirit of a...”
– Marilyn French
Dec 11th
Calorific Terrific
The ever reliable Metro informs me that the average Christmas Day food intake amounts to 7000 calories. I put down the paper. I turned this over in my mind. Well, it sure seemed like an awful lot. I told someone, in passing. They were suitably horrified. Then at some point over the day, that statistic crossed the line… from appalling indictment to personal challenge. So, breaking it down,...
Dec 9th
1 note
‘and I think of your smile, I’m in love with your teeth’ Deer Tick, Twenty Miles. (..Although I think ‘twenty Niles’, as I originally typed,would be more interesting. There’d just be so many neuroses.)
Dec 7th
sometimes the internet makes me sad
In an attempt to elucidate the topic of symbols for me, Wikipedia informs me that as the shamrock stands for Ireland, and a dove stands for peace, so Marilyn Monroe stands for sex. Really? Aaaaaand edit.
Dec 3rd
Dec 2nd
2,043 notes
“You firmly believe that social norms are just a societal construct, and that the...”
– ieatbutter.tumblr.com
Dec 2nd
“When you play pass the parcel with human body parts, somebody might get head...”
– the mighty Los Campesinos! - We Throw Parties, You Throw Knives.
Dec 2nd